Healing Aura: One Day At A Time

A recent question, innocently enough, appeared in my news feed on Facebook. Likely, it was inspired by the upcoming holiday season and the jovial festivities it implies but it just brought back rough memories for me. The question was: Did you have a favourite toy as a child and what was it? Many people answered with lighthearted replies of my Barbies, Legos, Teddy Ruxpin, etc. Some were more quip-y, like my imagination and nature. No one answered in the dark way that I immediately thought of when confronted with that question, so I left it at my books. In truth, my books were indeed my most favourite "toy", from the time I could read until today. Thing is, that really was for two reason back then. My books were a never ending source of imaginary fun. There were lives I could enter and be a part of that I yearned for, that I wished with all my heart were really mine. I could escape into a book for hours. I usually read at night, under my covers in bed because then I could sp

It all started at 6:50am. That's the official beginning, but I hadn't realized it until later. I realized, at 6:50am, that I had to go to the bathroom and debated with myself exactly how badly I needed to go. I didn't want to get out of my comfortable position because, being so heavily pregnant at 39 weeks 2 days, getting back into any comfortable position is a feat worthy of the Olympics. Finally, I decided that going to the bathroom was much more important so I sat up and leaked. I cursed to myself. I had avoided another entire pregnancy without peeing myself; not while laughing, sneezing, coughing, anything. And now, I thought, I had broken my record. I moved toward the end of the bed and leaked some more. I rushed to the bathroom and accomplished my task. Back in the bedroom, I riffled through my underwear drawer for a fresh, dry pair and began to climb back into bed. I leaked and cursed. At this point, I was about 80% sure that my waters had broken. With still a 20% u

After my very full and overflowing first post, I think I want to take it down a bit to something much more peaceful the births of my children :) It is really my favourite thing to talk about! At 7:30am on July 3rd I began to have some bloody show. Not much, so I wasn't concerned and there weren't any regular contractions either. By 8:30pm my contractions got more regular and by 11:30pm it was time to call the midwife to let her know my contractions followed the 411 rule (contractions 4min apart, lasting 1min, for 1 hour). She asked us if we felt okay to come in, since the hospital is a good 45min-1hr away. We got there at about 12:30am. The midwife had some trouble trying to locate my cervix and decided to wait a few contractions longer before checking again. The next time she checked she discovered that I was only 2cm. She wanted us to go home and come back later. Just as she was saying this I was hit with an intense contraction and my water broke but not in a giant gush of

I was stumped as to what to write first to open this platform to the world. I have many things that I hope to "get off my chest", as it were, many opinions I hope to convey, and many current life experiences that I wish to share. Like me, this blog will likely not have a definite, linear vantage point. I feel it's too constricting that way. So, perhaps it is best to share what is on my mind at the current moment. Currently, I am dealing with some very difficult circumstances. Perhaps they can be better explained in later posts but, for now, I will only relay what is directly important to the current situation. I used to live in the United States, only moving to Canada the summer before I was to enter 12th grade. We moved because my mother, WL, met a man, ML, online and, after having physically met him "enough" times, decided to marry again. She was working as a home-care nurse, at the time, and was loathe to leave her patient, so she sent my sister and myself a